


100 Themes Challenge- Phan

by finching



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 100 Themes Challenge, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Angst and Feels, Art, Art Shows, Coming Out, Depression, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Phan, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, I'll add more tags as i go, M/M, Parent Death, Parenthood, Phan - Freeform, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction, Sad, Sad Ending, Sexuality Crisis, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, maybe smut even though i've never written it before oOo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8194672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finching/pseuds/finching
Summary: The 100 themes challenge with phan. There will be angst, fluff, awkward teenage years, and maybe even smut (If I muster up the courage to write it)! I'll try to update every day but that's probably not going to happen. Each chapter will be a different story, so it's basically not even in the same universe. I think I might follow a little theme of them being teenagers.





	1. Chapter 1

I'm doing the 100 themes challenge with phan. I'll try to update everyday, but if we're being real, there's almost 0 chance of that happening. There'll be angst, fluff, and perhaps smut. Hope you enjoy :)


	2. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1- introductions

Dan was sitting outside. If that didn’t sound strange enough, he was doing it voluntarily. His mum had shouted at him for spending his days inside on the computer a few days prior, but after Dan’s refusal to listen to her, she gave up. Eventually Dan started to feel bad and relented, announcing that he was going outside to no one in particular. Much to his dismay, the weather was extreme. The sun was beating down, causing Dan’s sight to blur. He groaned and, with reluctance, grabbed a lawn chair and picked a spot in the shade. He set down the chair with unnecessary force and sat down. 

A few excruciating, sweat-filled minutes later, Dan heard a voice call out. He wasn’t sure it was directed at him, as it was a simple “hey”, so he decided to keep his eyes closed. After a couple seconds, the same voice filled his ears. He looked over his shoulder to see a pale young boy waving with exaggerated enthusiasm. He gave a half-hearted wave in reply and turned away, hoping the kid would just leave. His guilt over not listening to his mum and finally going outside didn’t translate into wanting to interact with people. He shut his eyes again. He heard footsteps coming toward him and repressed a sigh.

“Hi!” The kid greeted. Dan could hardly make out what the boy looked like due to the sun’s glare, but from what he could see, he had very blue eyes. Dan gave a small smile and grunted in a way that could be taken as a greeting. The boy paid no attention to Dan’s lack of interest in him and stuck out a hand.

“I’m Phil,” The boy- Phil- said. Dan took the boy’s hand, and was surprised when he started to lift him up out of his chair. What the fuck is wrong with this kid? Now that Dan was standing, he could get a good look at this Phil character. 

He had light skin, and it looked like it was glowing because of the glare of the sun. It was clear, without a blemish or spot to be seen. His eyelashes were light, even lighter than his hair. Cute, Dan thought.

“I’m Dan,” He replied, shaking Phil’s hand. Phil retreated his hand and stuffed both of them in his pockets. Dan drew circles in the dirt with his shoe, unsure of what to say next. Phil was the one who initiated the conversation, for God’s sake. It shouldn’t be this awkward. 

“I live in the house across the street, a few to the right,” Phil said, glancing over his shoulder. 

“Ah, I live, um, there,” Dan said stupidly, pointing to his own house behind them. Of course he lived there. He wasn’t just camping out outside someone’s house. He squinched his eyes in embarrassment. Phil laughed. It was a sound so melodic and pretty, Dan refused to believe he deserved the privilege of hearing it. It was quiet and breathy. Just a little “ha” that made Dan’s heart flutter. With reluctance, he cracked a smile. Phil slipped a piece of paper into Dan’s hand and waved goodbye. Dan didn’t have to open it to know what it was.


	3. Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2- complicated

“Hey, Phil?” I tapped my friend’s shoulder. My hands were shaking. He turned around and the bed creaked. He moved closer to me and my heart started beating even faster.

“Yeah?” 

“Uh- I have to tell you something,” I said, and stared down between my legs. I took a deep breath, no turning back now. I drew circles on the mattress to calm my nerves. 

“I’m- I like- I like boys,” I said. I didn’t want to see his reaction. Roses bloomed on my face and neck and I buried my head in my hands. I was so embarrassed. What made it worse is that Phil was completely silent. I was struggling and hurting, but he didn’t say a thing. 

“So you’re like… gay?” He whispered. It would be inaudible if he weren’t sitting so close. My breath speeds up and I lift my head.

“I don’t know. It’s complicated. And confusing. I don’t know what I like. I like girls but… boys too. Sometimes I feel like I don’t like girls at all and other days I do. I always like boys… That’s- that’s a constant. I’ve been- I’ve been liking a lot more boys more recently.”

 

Phil looked up at me. I stared at my feet. His silence was killing me, eating at me quickly. I could feel his stare boring into me, cutting me open like a knife.

“So it’s complicated?” He smiled.

“Very,” I breathed. I think he was okay with it. Why wouldn’t he be? We’d been best friends for years and years. I never expected to develop a crush on him, though. But with his astounding beauty, I should’ve seen it coming. But it hit me like a truck.

“Why are you liking boys more now?” Phil asked, and I didn’t miss his resting his hand down next to mine. Accidental or not, it made my heart pound. He was closer to me now, and I could almost feel his breath on my skin.

“I…” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was because of him. His stupid black hair and stupid smile and his stupid perfect personality. I hate him. I hate that I love him so much. 

“You,” It came out as a breath. His eyes widened, but he didn’t look that surprised. Am I that obvious? He leaned forward even more and planted a kiss on the corner of my mouth. I exhaled and placed my hand on his and shifted so my head was resting on his shoulder. 

“Is it still complicated?” Phil asked. Now I could really feel his breath.

“No.”

It wasn’t. It didn’t matter what I liked. I liked Phil, boys, girls, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t complicated.


	4. Making History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3- Making History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings:  
> death  
> sadness  
> angst  
> sad  
> sad  
> sad  
> i'm sorry

I remember the day we met. October 19th, 2009. So much happened that day, so it’s not that clear to me. It was cold, but Phil was warm. And when I hugged him that day before we parted, I noticed he smelled like warm too. That hug was one of the best ones I’d ever had. He held onto me like I was the only thing keeping him from disappearing. It felt like if he let go, I’d get carried away with the cold wind. He kissed the corner of my mouth before leaving. It burned and tingled.

 

I remember that kiss like it was yesterday. I remember seeing the fear in his eyes before he closed the gap between us, and the bliss in them after. The corners of his mouth turned up. It was awkward, our noses bumped, and I didn’t know where to place my hands. Eventually we got the hang of it, I wrapped my arms around his neck, he tilted his head a bit. We fit together nicely, though it took some time to get used to the whole kissing thing. We did it quite a bit. It became a normal thing.

 

We didn’t tell the subscribers until mid 2017. It was through a video. A short 4 minute thing filled with kisses and flirting that we had to edit out. They went mental, as expected. There wasn’t a lot of negativity, if there was it was covered by lovely messages from our followers. It felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders, no more secrets, no more hiding. I felt so much happier and more relaxed. I know Phil felt the same.

 

We got married on June 5th, 2019. 3 years before everyone thought we would. It was a pleasant day, our family and friends were gathered. Phil looked beautiful. He looked amazing in a suit, I looked like some kind of posh twat. He looked dignified. I couldn’t stop complimenting him, and he couldn’t stop blushing. Even after all these years, his cheeks were erupting in roses. My mouth hurt from grinning too much. Mum cried, she was so proud.

 

We were so happy, but now it’s just me. Here I am, in 2029, and I’m all alone again. Just like I was when I was a teenager. I’m 37 now. It sounds terribly old, but the years flew by. God, that sound cheesey. Phil and I adopted two kids. Maggie and Henry. I love them more than anything. I loved Phil more than anything. Now he’s gone.

 

We were so happy but here I am. I’m hugging our children and crying at my husbands funeral. He died in a car crash, on the way to the grocery store. I should have been with him in the car. Maybe I could’ve done something. Maggie is crying loudly, and her head is buried in my coat. There are tears falling down Henry’s face. He’s clutching to my jacket. I haven’t seen him yet. I don’t want to walk over and see him dead yet. I wait with Maggie and Henry for a little longer, then I walk over to the casket.

 

I get chills when I see him. His eyes are closed, obviously. I loved his eyes. Everyone did. I’d never get to stare into them again. I’ll never see the crinkles around them when he smiled. I’ll never see him smile or hear his melodic laugh ever again. I loved being the one responsible for him laughing. I’ll never feel that ever again. My heart aches for him, for Maggie and Henry, for our friends, family, for me. I want to go cry into Phil’s shoulder and tell him about all that’s been happening, but that’s the problem. He’s the cause of my problems. He’s dead. I can’t go to him for help anymore.

 

He made history. He left a mark on the world. I remember when we were younger, he told me he wanted to leave this world having done something. He did. He left the world too soon, but he got his wish. He changed millions of lives in his years of doing YouTube, and after. He made our followers’ lives better, our kid’s lives better. My life better. He’d left a huge mark on the world, and I’m so thankful that he did. He made history, even if he won’t be remembered for it in 100 years. He made history for Maggie and Henry, for our subscribers, and me. He made my history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was initially going to make this really fluffy and cute but then Thinking Out Loud came on and I lost it and made it angsty. Sorry. (I almost cried writing this) (I'm sorry. Here's a cookie. ~cookie~)


	5. Rivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4- Rivalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late!

The art fair was the one time I didn’t look like a pretentious show off when I got excited and proud of my art. I’d walk around the event, smiling and greeting people, urging them to go take a look at my hard work. Any other day, that’d look stupid. Here, it’s accepted. It’s normal. And people loved my sculptures. They grinned and complimented me and admired my work.

There was, of course, one thing that always spoiled my perfect mood. Dan Howell. He’s perfect. His art always wins, it’s always brilliant and creative. It made me so angry. He makes hyper realistic paintings.The first time I laid eyes on one of his works, I couldn’t believe it was a painting. 

“Photography isn’t allowed in the art fair,” I had said. He’d smiled and scratched his lip. Then he had rubbed the back of his neck and laughed. It’d took him a while to speak, and I’d been stupidly staring at him the entire time.  
“It’s not a picture. It’s a painting.”

Every year, everyone who attends (besides those who enter) votes for a winner. Every year, Dan wins. The worst part is, he’s always nice and sweet about it. He’s always humble and perfect. I’m usually not the one to get envious of other people’s success. But all I want is to win one year. Just one. It’d make me so happy. I spend so much time and effort on my sculptures, but not once have they won. 

This time, I plan to change that. I used up all of my energy to make this one. I think it’s quite nice, and everyone who’s looked at it has complimented me on it. I couldn’t take the smile off my face. I went to check out Dan’s paintings. One of them was a beautiful drawing of Marilyn Monroe. Painted with precise detail and perfect shading. It wasn’t much of an improvement from last year, but it was still amazing.

Dan was sitting in a stool with a blank look on his face when I saw him. I made my way over to him. He looked up and smiled. 

“Hey, Phil,” He said.

“Hey, Dan. Nice paintings,” I replied.

“Thank you,” He said, sounding tired. “I spent forever on them.” 

“Looks like it. Did you get a chance to see my sculptures?” I asked, and hoped I wasn’t sounding rude.

“Not yet. Walk me over?”

My heart fluttered for some inexplicable reason and I started to walk to my sculptures. I felt Dan get up and follow behind me. We weaved through the event until we reached my work. Dan looked my art up and down. I looked for something to register on his face, some flicker of approval. But he nodded and gave a half-hearted grin. 

“Good. You’re really talented,” He said, rubbing my shoulder. He turned and trudged back to his art before I could thank him. My heart sunk. I was angry because of it. His opinions don’t matter. But my chest hurt. Why did I want his approval so badly? I sighed and sat on a stool next to my favourite sculpture, plastering a smile on my face. 

***

“The winner of the 2016 art competition is…” Principal Schumar put on her best announcer voice and paused for dramatic effect like she does every year. I got ready to be disappointed.

“Dan Howell!” Clapping. Cheering. Dan sheepishly walked up to Ms Schumar to take his ribbon. Just like every year before this one. I clapped politely. Dan walked away from Ms Schumar quickly, probably trying to avoid the people gathering to compliment him. That wasn’t like him. He’d usually revel in the praise. 

I saw him escape through a back door, and decided to follow. I found him sitting on the steps. His head was resting in the palm of his hand. He looked bored.

“Hey, Dan,” I said cautiously. He whipped his head around.

“What?” He wiped his sleeve on his face and narrowed his eyes. 

“I saw you- You’re… acting different.” I crouched down next to him. He turned his head and sniffed. 

“How would you know?” He snapped. “You never talk to me.” 

I was taken aback. Dan had never made the impression he wanted to be my friend. I noticed he never talked to anyone at school, but it seemed like he enjoyed being like that. He enjoyed being an outcast and different. He was spacey. I never tried to talk to him.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I never knew you wanted me to talk to you.” I murmured, sitting next to him.

“Whatever.” He sighed.

“Well, aren’t you happy you won?” I asked. 

“I win every single year. It gets old,” He replied.  
“Yeah. I know. I lose every single year.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Not your fault. Your art is amazing.” I said. I offered a smile.

“No,” He groaned. “It’s not. My art is old. It’s not creative. I lost my… spark.”

“Your spark?” 

“My fucking spark!” He put his head in his hands and laughed maniacally. 

“My art is boring. It’s realistic. That’s it.” He said.

“Are you kidding? Your art is great!” I said, and leaned closer to him.

“No! No! My art isn’t creative like yours! Yours is beautiful, it’s new and creative. I draw fucking Marilyn Monroe and win a ribbon.” He stares at the ribbon wrapped around his finger.

“Why do you hate your paintings so much?” I asked. I leaned my head on his shoulder. It was cold out, and I could see my breath. I didn’t miss the hitch in his breath when we made contact. 

“I don’t know,” He mumbled. “I never really like anything I do if I’m being honest.” He sighed again. He did that a lot. I remained silent and closed my eyes. 

“Why did I tell you all that?” He asked after a bit. I lifted my head and frowned.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Do you trust me?” 

“I don’t know,” He said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have HUGE ideas for this one so I'm creating it into a longer fic! That's why the ending is kind of off. I'm really proud of this one, I spent a lot of time on it. I would've spent more, but I had to do homework until 5 and wanted to post it today. Hope you enjoyed!


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